Separate yourselves from yourselves!

Ah yes. You’ve met the brain; now observe the heart. If there be blood, and There Will Be Blood, I manage to churn it in her direction. She, receptive to her role, is then able to function in accordance with her highest capacity. (Why do you resist, steak-buffet steak?) I wouldn’t call myself an idea man, per se, but give me something substantial to work with, and you’ll see that I’ve got more sway than Jesus Camp. Best of all, I use my powers for good and not evil. Barely anyone ends up having seizures.

But our journey truly began before today. I remember the first time I almost met Mab. I was at a local punk show at Western Illinois University, some 120 miles from our current locale. She was also in attendance: this silly girl with glasses in a silly hooded sweatshirt with silly animal ears. She didn’t even attend the university. Pff! Then there was the second time, at Lincoln Land Community College, some one year later. Albeit this time she did attend, only she’d made her way into the wrong class, then made her way out of it ten minutes into the lecture—while taking a phone call, discussing aloud her need to take the phone call, dropping her things several times, and tripping irreverently all over the garbage can.

As a matter of fact, most of our missed opportunities to meet occurred within various educational institutions. I suppose, beyond our knowledge at the time, we were looking for a different sort of education. What can I say? It turns out that silly, animal-ear-headed trips-a-lot has been integral to my development as a self-aware and reasoning human being in these last few years. In turn, I read directions on her behalf.

Please allow me to use my own refined credibility to offer a small wad of truth: Mab is indeed a cunning genius. My qualities tend to speak for themselves. Together we are unstoppable will possibly bore you, but rest assured that we’ll manage to entertain the hell out of ourselves.

Comment on that, Joe Dante.