L-O-V-E

I'd like to dedicate this blog to my Maphew and to Bernd Jurgen Brandes. I haven't always been good at resisting my desires. But thank you for agreeing to be dinner, in your own way.

So much attention is given to love in all its many forms that I think we often forget what it really means. Perhaps most of us fail to see it clearly at all. Love is: strong affection for another, warm attachment, devotion, admiration, unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another, or so says Merriam-Webster. I think most would agree with this definition. I, however, have always found it very difficult to relate to or share in the enthusiasm of so many seasonal rom-coms or heart touching Hallmark sentiments. In fact I've been very public about my cynicism, even on this forum, in expressing a general distaste for the institution (as I saw it) of romance and relationships all together.

"Is she jaded? Who broke her heart? "

Do me a favor and fuck off. I spent a lot of analytic hours on my assessments and feel they served me well in their time. Of course since I've gathered more information I've been forced to re-assess my prior conclusions, proving once again that you should never jump to nor slowly make your way to any one conclusion because the data can always change. In my defense, I wasn't completely incorrect, I just wasn't completely right. My latest hypothesis is that above all you have to accept this "devotion and unselfish loyal and benevolent concern" from the object of your affection or its really just emotional masturbation. Nobody is going to believe you love them if you get your emotional spunk all over them. So this Valentine's Day I'd like to offer a nugget of wisdom that I've gathered from my limited and sordid experience. If your lover knowingly lets you emotionally spunk on them they don't love you, they hate you.

Also, and maybe most importantly, you should never ever slay and eat someone unless they are truly and fully willing to be slain and eaten.

Light Box (P1)

Though One, Brahman is the cause of the many. Brahman is the unborn in whom all existing things abide. The One manifests as the many, the formless putting on forms. (From the Vedic writings of Hinduism)


“If only you’d died.” Debra spoke without parting her teeth.

“What?” was the only word Jack could get out, his voice cracking as he said it.

They sat silent. Debra seemed to Jack like a violent statue. How could a thing seem to be brewing and seem to be rock all at once?

“Deb…” he said as he made a move for her hand. The statue flinched. She moved her hand to her lap and posed herself like a volcano again.

She tried taking her mind somewhere else as she felt the wet boil up in her eyes. It wasn’t time to cry. If she focused hard enough she could actually hear the music in her head. But what good was music now, she thought as she felt Jacks eyes on her like a pleading child. The two were so silent she thought she could hear his heart beating.

“Do you really mean that?” Jack asked. He was surprised to find that he actually physically hurt, and to speak was more painful yet. A vice held his throat and the sound that came out was unfamiliar.

“Yes” She said. She sounded emotionless, certain. Little did Jack know, the same vice gripped her as she spoke.

She knew how much this hurt him. She didn’t just empathize. It wasn’t compassion. She knew. She knew the inside of him as well as she knew herself. Her mind was on the verge of implosion as she realized this; as I watched her realize this. The tapestry of her thoughts was on fire with a knowledge she could not contain. For a moment, it seemed humorous that she likened the perspective to a child in a funhouse surrounded by mirrors reflecting mirrors. But only for a moment; and then it was frightening, grotesque, monstrous.

He Don't Want the Answer

Hello Travelers!

You may have noticed my recent lack of attention to this evocation destination, and although I have no worthy explanation, know that I did miss you.

Many recent interactions have inspired me to utilize this space for the matter of sharing my songwriting and subsequent singing of aforementioned songs in blog form. Although this practice is generally personal and cathartic in nature, it is my art, and I suppose art should be shared.

I don't have the proper equipment (and talent, perhaps) for a quality endeavor, but I've rarely been distracted by the concept of perfection, so I hope you'll forgive me. One day I'll get a better microphone and some software that offers noise reduction.

To subscribe to my Songcast via iTunes, please follow these instructions:

1. Open iTunes

2. Choose Advanced >> Subscribe to Podcast...

3. Copy and Paste the following link: http://feeds.feedburner.com/TimeTravelForBeginners

4. Updates will automatically download to iTunes!

You can also directly download today's song here if you prefer.

On a quick side-note, I'd like to mention two blessed events. I'm sure Mab wouldn't mind my revealing to you (since all of Facebook already knows) that she is with child--her second little bit. My deepest condolences and most heartfelt congratulations to her and hers. Second, tomorrow--otherwise known as today in some countries--is the birthday of one Kennan Highly, and may it be a happy one.