Forever yours, Ophelia

There is no heart. The heart is a mirage. She whispers lies. She promises oasis and fills your thirsty mouth with sand. She beats you and you ignore her. She pauses and you listen. Like a shadow at the corner of your eye. To hear her is to harbor delusion. To hold her is certain death. I tell you there is no heart! At least none of any consequence.

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Mab-tastic

So, the other day Mab got hammered, and here are some things that she had to say (while very, very close to my face):

"Ancient Aliens is such a great show. I dunno why I can't stop thinking about Ancient Aliens."

"I know you think I'm just saying this because I'm drunk, but I think time is spreading apart like the universe."

"You're separate, you know what I mean? It's not nature, it's nature!"

"I love Ancient Aliens."

She also happened to mention that she's working on about 8 blog posts. This is my attempt to coax those out. Redeem thyself, woman!

There is no spoon.

I don't mean to brag but the things I've learned about reality in the past year could fill a thimble. Or even a spoon. A tiny one. Like the kind you feed babies with. Subjectivity is key.

Anyhow.

Though this is in fact contrary to everything I've ever said and felt before this current epoch...

I hope I never wake up.

Reflections

In everyone you see but the reflection of what you choose to have him be to you.

Forgive the past and let it go, for it is gone.

But we are not.

Dear Mab -- A Postcard From the Next Room

1. If Highlander is the heartbreak of your life, you're doing pretty good!!

2. I'm sorry you had a bad day. I don't have the answer that you need about y(our) situation, but I'm confident, as per usual, that things will be okay. It makes sense. Now that we're done worrying about my bisnass, it's time to worry about yours. Always happens that way.

3. I was reading back on some of our older posts and realizing how terribly lame we are for neglecting this blog. I vow to put forth a greater effort.

4. You haven't yet participated in our Accountability Partner series whereby you were supposed to review a gourmet meal and get your review published. I think this is probably because you're with child, and your taste buds got messed up. (Nice going, Hankster.) I think things will go back to normal once you recover from the disease that is pregnancy. It can wait.

5. Can you please remember to borrow the first Harry Potter so Stella and I can watch it together, for crying out loud? Also, grab Sherlock Holmes.

Good talk.

Take On Me

I have not, in the past, had the energy to express the broken thoughts and over analytical ethics that lodge themselves in my mind on a day to day basis. I have not frequently or infrequently, as it were, expounded upon my less critical interests and their lack of effect on societies near and far. But I'd like to make up for that now. Here are a few things I've thought in the past week or so.

1. Highlander the TV series* is the heartbreak of my life! Not to mention the whole Highlander franchise. And yet I continue to trudge forward in the darkness, watching every episode, every movie, and yes, even every animated series that's associated.** Keep tuning in for my List of Why's on the whole situation, where in I intend to uncover many of the inconsistencies and common annoyances of this beloved series, things I will not stand for. Duncan Macleod, of the Clan Macleod, you got some 'splainin to do!

2. Kant can't tell you a thing about time travel. You see according to Immanuel Kant time is only empirically real, meaning it doesn't exist independently, i.e. without space there is no time. Sure sure, fine fine. But if that's true then what also must be said is that without time there is no space. A logical conclusion. But if both are true then we've negotiated ourselves out of relevance. I could point you in the direction of the Minkowski Metric or Lorentz Transformation for more details but I think I made my point in the maiden voyage of this blog when I said "If the baby isn't real, leave it on the stove." Stephen Hawking had something to say about this in A Brief History of Time: "We could still imagine a set of laws that determines events completely for some supernatural being, who could observe the present state of the universe without disturbing it. However, such models of the universe are not of much interest to us mortals. It seems better to employ the principle known as Occam's razor and cut out all the features of the theory that cannot be observed." But don't believe everything Hawking says. One time he said something as silly as because there are no tourists from the future here then time travel is clearly impossible. Come on! There are innumerable scenerios that turn that statement into proverbial egg on Hawking's face. And by the way Occam's razor wasn't as simple as you've been led to believe. You see what he really said was "Entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily." And I think we all know why that leaves egg on Denzel Washington's face.

3. Time-space synaesthesia
I did not know that was uncommon. To everyone I've ever left standing with a glazed over look in their eye after having explained one of my many time travel theories that hinge on this inherent understanding/ mental ailment, which apparently you either have or you don't, my humble apologies for thinking you a twit. I do see now why people might get the impression that I'm crazy.

4. "Live truth instead of professing it." -Elbert Hubbard. Word, Elbert. Put that on my Facebook's epitaph.

5. Grant Morrison's Batman and Robin is the greatest and best Batman comic book ever written. Eat it Frank Miller.

6. There is some chance that our neighbors are making meth. But they wouldn't be the first neighbors I suspected that of. Perhaps I'm the problem.

* Or Highlander The Gay Blade as I like to call it.

** OK! OK! And collect the comic books.

Not a Lymrick About a Dick

There once was a man named Emmett
Who had the intention to invent
He went into the past
And killed his grand-dad, and...
Who were we talking about? I forget.